Wine + chocolate = happiness

Sometimes a girl just needs wine and chocolate. For realsies. Like yesterday, I was craving chocolate all day but told myself I didn't need it because I'm on this clean eating "diet" and I'm never going to be thin if I keep cheating on it. And to top it off my boyfriend got home super early (I'm usually home like an hour before him) so I couldn't justify or casually stop at a gas station on my way home without him knowing lol. I mean I'm in the middle of my period and cramping like crazy, I'm exhausted and weak because I'm bleeding unwomanly things out of my body and my body basically hates me. I tried to workout (we're doing insanity...shaun t is pretty intense but so far I'm surviving) but the power went out about halfway through and my cramps were making it basically impossible to do all the moves correctly (there's a LOT of jumps/jumping movements) so I took it as a sign that even the universe was telling me to just go to the store. Came home with mini reese's, moscato, and tampons. The cashier was probably thinking I fit every female stereotype he ever heard of but idgaf....went to sleep feeling good. :)

Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow

You know what sucks? Realizing that your parents were never meant to be together. Realizing maybe they were never really in love, they married for convenience and the sake of getting old, but that the bond they had was never enough to keep them together through the rough times. Over the years they grew further and further apart until they no longer kissed hello and goodbye, gave hugs instead but even those eventually disappeared. One day, when they had been living in completely different cities (and that was somehow acceptable), one of them decided to file for divorce and the other was completely blindsided. But in the end it didn't really matter. They barely had a real relationship to begin with, so a divorce on paper shouldn't make that much difference.

When you're little you think the world of your parents. They're perfect and all-knowledgeable, and you look up to them and want to be them. You believe in fairy tales and happy endings. But growing up you gradually realize this isn't the case. I've always been more pessimistic than optimistic, a glass half empty rather than half full kinda girl (even before I realized what that meant). When you're 22 and your parents have made it this far together you think they'll be together forever. But sometimes life blindsides you too. Two years later, I can't say I really dealt with my parents divorce at all. I basically ignored it, and acted like it was normal to visit them separately and avoid talking about the other parent. Now I've realized that maybe somehow, even though I love both of them they really weren't good together and are kind of better off alone. Realizations like these are hard, but part of growing up.